On cognitive mediation

Principle

Adversity does not directly cause emotional suffering. Suffering is mediated by the belief system through which a person interprets the event. Dysfunctional emotions often come from irrational thoughts or absolutist demands: should, must, have to.

Reflection

We know reality has an objective dimension. A bed is a bed here and anywhere else in the world. A plate of food remains a plate of food here or in China. The ingredients may change, the seasoning, the way it is prepared, even the cultural value attributed to it. But in material terms, it remains food: a source of nutrients, vitamins, proteins, minerals, and whatever the body needs to sustain itself.

But what happens when that bed, that plate of food, or any apparently objective situation arrives loaded with meaning? What happens when that element of reality activates a memory, an emotion associated with that memory, and finally a belief attributed to what is happening?

That is what we call interpretation.

The foundation of cognitive-behavioral methodology is not to deny reality, nor to say that everything is in the mind, nor to reduce human experience to a motivational phrase. The idea is much more serious: between what happens and the way we respond emotionally, there is cognitive mediation. In other words, reality does not reach us naked. It reaches us through memory, language, emotion, personal history, social learning, and belief.

Think for a moment about a specific smell that evokes satisfaction. What memory immediately appeared? If you could give that satisfaction a more specific emotional name, what would it be? And if you could rate that emotion from 1 to 10, how strong would it be? Now imagine you are in a situation where that smell is strong and fills your nose. How would you interpret that situation? Would you think it is good or bad?

Do you see it? Even though reality continues to be the same, objective as it is, your interpretation will be associated with that set of memories and emotional experiences that belong to your own cultural and social history.

The responses will be different if the smell, sound, or event activates sad, painful, or challenging memories. The interpretation will be completely different. We might label the event as bad, unfair, or humiliating, and that interpretation will immediately, almost intrusively, generate a thought. That thought is known as an automatic thought.

During the course of today, try to become more aware of the thoughts that jump into your mind when you are facing a specific situation. Let us go one step further. Write them down in your phone notes, in a notebook you actually use, or in a journal you will not abandon after three days. Avoid loose papers. We already know how that story ends: lost, wrinkled, or in the trash.

Do this exercise intentionally and, when you have some free time, review each thought and remember what interpretation you gave to the situation and why. What memory and what emotion did you associate with that interpretation? You may be surprised to realize that many of those automatic thoughts tend to be negative, and you will become more aware of your own core beliefs.

But that is a topic for another day.

Self-reflection question

What will you do today to distinguish between what happened and the interpretation your mind built around it?

A) I will identify a situation that caused discomfort and separate the objective fact from the interpretation I gave it.

B) I will observe which memory, emotion, or personal meaning was activated behind my reaction.

C) I will write down an automatic thought and ask myself whether it describes reality or my learned way of interpreting it.